The Social Contract

How many of you have ever not done something because people would have looked at you funny?  Scratched your junk, danced, giggled at something that tickled you, etc.?

How many people have told little white lies or said something to make someone else feel better because that's what is expected of you but may not necessarily be the truth?

These are examples of the social contract.  The social contract is what we all as a society tend to live by for fear of being ostracized, to make the gears run smoothly, to avoid conflict and a multitude of other reasons. 

Now the reason I mention the social contract is because it is an inherent part of culture, any culture.  No matter where you travel or what home you find yourself in, every new situation or group of people has a culture. 

We are all constrained by the culture that we exist in from moment to moment.  It's a simple statement of fact.  There are certain actions that we perform within our own homes, out of the public eye because it's culturally unacceptable.  There's a certain decorum we're expected to adopt (within a spectrum) in public because that is what is culturally acceptable.

I mention this to make this point, we are constantly bemoaning and mourning that there are no great innovators, thinkers, or artists of our time.  I think a large part of this is because as a society, we don't really cherish and encourage individuality, originality, and creativity like we say we do.  We like to say we do, but not really.  In our schools, children are expected to stick to a highly regimented schedule were there is very little time to dream, to be creative, to be children.  From a young age, children are indoctrinated into a culture that has very strict standards for behavior, dress, speech, even thinking.

When we think of the great thinkers and innovators of the past, most of the time they went against the societal grain.  They were odd, socially awkward, didn't tend to follow societal norms and were great.  Some were prodigies from a young age because they weren't stifled by the constraints of the society in which they lived. 

So in short, I say this:  if you want people to be great, give them the opportunities and don't get your goddamned panties in a twist if some dude or chick scratches their junk in public.  They may have had a sudden epiphany on how to finish Mozart's requiem and they just hit the kettledrum. 

Be a little bit more flexible in your expectations of people and know that in order to be great, people have to think differently, they have to be given the room and time and opportunity to daydream.  They need to be inspired.  What's inspiring about living and automaton-like existence dictated by an abstract, intangible construct such as the social contract?

Cheeseblarg's Scavenger Hunt!

So I participated in Cheeseblarg's Scavenger Hunt, which J.Rose came up with to help get me out of the house and get my mind off depressing thoughts.  Here are my pictures as well as the clues:

1. A cat in a window

2. Bare feet in the grass (it was a bit of a bitch to find grass where I live)

3.  Bacon!!!

4. A squeaker (dog toys)

5. 3 People holding cards (these women were super nice)

6.  Cheese on an entire family

7. A person wearing a hat

8. A bird, not in a tree (Golden Eagle)

9. The color red, only the color red (the front of my college graduation gown)

10. You holding a sign referring to da Cheeseblarg

11.  The cutest chocolate you can find (I thought the chocolate at the corner of his mouth was cute)

12.  Velcro

13.  An upside down book (my number one favorite book ever)

14.  Something I (Jodee) write about all the time but isn't in the list (you'd have to read the blog to get it, but narwhals are dicks)

15.  Ice Cream

16. A chance

17. Something nerdy (Sailor Moon manga)

18. A yellow flower

19.  A crack in the sidewalk

20.  The inside of a grocery store

21.  A person wearing a barrette (little hard to see it, but it's there)

22.  A scavenger

It was great fun!  I encourage all of you to do it, be creative!  Don't just use the internet, get your asses outside and try it, or at least use some creativity and draw.

Different Tactics

I've recently started seeing a man who I had known years ago and we recently reconnected, through pure coincidence or fate, whatever your pleasure may be.

It got me thinking though that there are other ways to not be a stupid jackass besides not doing something.  You can do it by actively trying to do something different. 

For example, I've ranted and raved against people being ignorant, being poor drivers, etc.  

But have I ever given suggestions for things people can do instead?  I don't think I have.  So today, I shall offer some advice that is good for all aspects of your life, but especially good for not pissing me off: 

Pursue happiness.  Find something or someone that makes you happy every day.  I've not known any person who was pursuing their happiness or with someone who makes them happy that actively strives to annoy others or to be a blight on their existences.

I think that if people found something that made them happy, really happy, dance around in the kitchen, do a jig in public and not give a damn who's looking happy, the world would be a better place.  I don't care what it is really, just find something.  If it's a person, that's wonderful, I hope you make them happy too, if it's something, that's great too because it'll always be there for you.

I'm not saying that you should be happy all day every day, because that's a pretty damn tall order, but be happy for at least a little while every day.  It's good for your health, because if someone annoys me now, I've decided to make them cheerful by injecting cheer into them via a hose straight up the ass...like a cheer enema. 

hehehe. Could be fun!  Maybe I should be a motivational speaker lol. 

Have You Ever...

had cravings for weird things because you haven't had them in a while?

That's what I'm going through right now.  I want caramel, and I want crunchy Cheetos.  Not together, because that's just disgusting, but I've been thinking about it a lot.

I found this really awesome recipe for butterscotch that I want to try, but I can't quite yet.

Soon though!  I'm almost to my goal, and once I get there, it's time to really start toning myself up because I'm dissatisfied with the way certain parts of my body are now.  After I get there, I can start bringing things back in in moderation and learn how to not let them derail me. 

Truth be told, I don't really miss much anymore and I hardly crave any of the things I used to gorge on. 


In other news, sorry about the long quiet spell.  I've not really had a whole lot to rant about lately, at least not in an intelligent way that wasn't just "FUCK YOU IN YOUR FUCKING HEAD YOU FUCKING FUCK KNOB!  I'M GONNA MAKE A NEW HOLE IN YOUR CORPSE AND FUCK YOU THERE TOO!!"  You know, that old chestnut.

Hopefully I'll be back to regular rants against jackassery soon.

Just Some Thoughts

It's been a little while since I've posted so I'm correcting that.  There hasn't been anything that's been immediately pissing me off lately.  Just had a lot on my plate so I'm gonna share some short thoughts, and some congratulations.

• With all the fires and drought conditions that have been happening in some parts of the country, and all the floods and such happening in another part of the country, do you think there's a genius or engineer or two that could put their heads together to maybe kill two birds with one stone on those problems?  It makes sense to take an overabundance of something from one area and use it to help out another area that's got very little of it.  Come on, someone.  Hell...let's start a fucking bucket line or something. 
• Tying in with the first bullet, if it's so fucking dry that there are wild fires springing up all over, then it's probably too dry for your campfire (particularly if you don't know how to properly build one) and for you to just be flicking your cigarette out the window.  Put that son of a bitch out first.  Seriously.  It's not that damned hard.  Ya lazy hump. Same goes for you folks on the ATVs.  Stay out of areas with a lot of underbrush, your exhaust is hot enough to ignite dried grasses.
• Congratulations and good job to New York!  Gay marriage is finally completely legal there, and there's no reason it shouldn't have been in the first place.  Gay people are just as human as anyone else, there's no reason that they should be denied rights just because their lifestyle is different, and some tight-assed people don't approve.  I don't approve of a bolt through the cock, but I'm not gonna tell someone they don't get medical treatment because they have one.  
• And finally, congratulations to me! I have officially been accepted into grad school and I can barely contain my glee.   I can't wait to start in the fall. I'm excited to get back into school and get started with a new chapter of my life.

Private Lives Are Not Indicative of Professional Capability

I don't know why I feel like opening this can of worms, other than I feel like I need to voice my opinion in some form or another in light of yet another political "sex scandal."

Let me just make myself plain, people have private lives, and no one is a saint.  Okay?  We're not in the Victorian era, and we have some pretty backward and archaic notions when it comes to sex and sexuality and sexual natures/proclivities, etc. Everyone is going to fuck up from time to time and they should be held accountable for those fuck ups, but their whole lives shouldn't be defined by it unless it's something really huge, like genocide.  Hitler may have been a vegetarian painter who was rejected by art school, probably liked to clog or some such shit, but when you systematically murder millions of people because you're in a snit?  That makes you a mass murdering fuckhead. That's the kind of thing that should define a person.

So, with that said, I don't think that "sex scandals" or the fact that someone got a traffic ticket makes them unfit to perform their job. Most of the time the societal transgression that people are accused of or actually did perform aren't illegal, and have no fucking bearing on their professional ethics.  People are constantly confusing Morals with Ethics and using them interchangeably. Sorry, that's not the way it works.  Morals tend to be societal mores and guidelines for acceptable behavior, thought, etc. Ethics (in this particular instance) refers to the practices of business and what is good or bad and ideas of that ilk.  They are NOT interchangeable and are actually exclusive of each other. 

I don't care that you find something morally reprehensible or it violates your personal code of honor or behavior or that it is against the mandates of your particular religion.  In most cases, it has no bearing on whether someone is able to perform their job effectively and well.  If there was a problem with someone's work, they probably wouldn't have been able to do it for long without someone pointing out that shit doesn't quite work right. Everyone is entitled to a private life and if there's something that violates a code within that person's social group, then it needs to be kept in that group.  A man cheating on his wife is between he, his wife, and their lawyers, should the need arise.

I'm talking about Anthony Weiner.  There have been calls for his resignation from office because people find his actions reprehensible and wrong and dirty and naughty and a whole slew of other words.  I don't think he should resign because honestly, all he did was engage in a form of fantasy.  He was fine and dandy with him carrying on this "affair" for several months until he sent a picture of his penis and the woman receiving it went to the press.  And folks, it was just a penis.  Almost half of the world's population has one, and if they don't have one, they've probably seen one before.  It wasn't like he sent a picture of him putting babies on spikes.  It was a dick. 

Now there's also an investigation about whether he used congressional cell phones or computer to conduct his "lascivious" actions.  What does it matter?  How many other members of congress use those things for personal communication and use all the time?  What does it matter as to the content?  It was just as personal a use as someone else using it to order pizza, or check his Facebook, or look at porn.  Sorry to break it down like that to some of you, but it's true. 

It offended your morality, but no one was physically hurt by it, and the woman trying to make herself the victim by saying that he "made her talk that way and do those things" is a repulsive glamour whore.  She is.  She talks about how he humiliated and degraded her by "making her" do those things.  If she were so humiliated, why did she go to the press?  Why is she talking to any reporter she can, doing interviews, giving sound bites? She simply wants to capitalize on someone else's disgrace.  It's schadenfreude.

But going back to the main issue here.  His sexual proclivities and exploits have no influence on his ability to be a congressman.  Like I mentioned in my last post, everyone is entitled to a private life and if his wife has a problem with it, she'll take care of it however she sees fit.  It's not for the media or the public to judge him for his private actions.  Stay the hell out of it. Does the man do his job?  Does he do it satisfactorily?  Then that's all the public needs to know and that should be the end of it.

Are You Involved in Any Way? No? Then Shut the Fuck Up!

In light of all the celebrities who are boinking anything that stands still long enough, and illegitimate children flying out of the woodwork, and people who claim they were "assaulted," "groped," or "touched," I've decided to make my position on this shit clear:  if it didn't happen to you or you're not directly involved, stay the fuck out of it.

Mainly I'm talking about the media in all its forms and varieties.  I don't need or care to see some celebrity's/athlete's/politician's sex/money/hangnail scandal in every news broadcast there is.  Frankly, that sort of thing isn't news.  Sorry, it's not.  People with power, position, and money are not somehow public property.  Their personal lives don't need to be splashed all over every media outlet there is.  They're people too with every right to privacy, just as those who are hounding them and those who are "reporting" on them are entitled to their right to privacy. I can guarantee you that Jim-Bob Dipshit with the camera would be suing the shit out of any media outlet that invaded his privacy and talked about any indiscretions on his part and reported every aspect of his private life, and then speculated about how evil and immoral he must be because of those indiscretions.

Seriously, I don't care to see it, a lot of people don't care to see it.  It's cruel.  The only people who's business it is are those that are directly involved.  It's hard enough to go through things like that without not being able to escape it.  Again, the public doesn't own these people or their families and as such are not entitled to every minute detail of their lives or their existence.

Stay the fuck out of it.

*Addendum*

This, of course, doesn't apply to embezzlement or misappropriation of public funds or tax monies, or domestic violence or abuse cases.  That shit I care about and I will take it out of someone ass.

Offer Your Sacrifices for the Cult of Child

So I've come to the conclusion that this isn't going to come out quite the way I want it to and I frankly don't give a fuck anymore.  I'm just gonna say it and let it come out how it will.

Is it just me or is everything becoming "child friendly" these days?  Let me set it out for ya:  there are activities, shows, channels, and places that a child doesn't belong and so it shouldn't be sanitized so parents don't have to do their damn jobs.

I'm not saying that children have no place or that parents are universally lazy or incapable.  I'm not even saying that I don't like children; in general, I do.  I'm just saying that children don't need to be considered and included for everything.

It's bullshit that I, as an adult who has made the conscious decision not to have children at this point in my life, have to suffer with poorly behaved children in places where they maybe shouldn't be.  Movie theaters for example, but more specifically, theaters that aren't showing some fluffy children's movie but are showing something that is an adult movie. Blood, guts, ass, swearing, sex, etc.  Those are all adult content, children shouldn't be sitting in there watching them with their parents because the parent couldn't find a baby-sitter. Restaurants are another place where you should really think about if it's an appropriate place for your children, particularly sit-down restaurants.  There's nothing like trying to have an civil conversation with someone sitting across from me and it's punctuated by the screams of a baby, or the whining of a child who doesn't want to wait for his food and he's bored and some parent making half-assed threats about punishment and leaving if they don't stop acting up. 

My parents never would have tolerated that.  Going out was a privilege for us and we made damn sure we didn't fuck it up. 

Networks that aren't meant for children (such as Comedy Central, Bravo, hell just about anything that isn't Disney or its affiliate) are edited for content and language, partly because of the possibility of children watching.  Almost every TV, satellite, and cable company has an option to block channels or only make them viewable with a password, so parents should be taking advantage of those features instead of censoring the content broad spectrum even when there are those of us who are annoyed with it.

If you make a joke about children, it had damn well better be cute and cuddly or else you're heinous.  Don't you dare use hyperbole to describe your vexation and frustration with a child, and definitely don't even hint of violence upon a child, even when it's hyperbolic and obviously not serious.  

Apparently if you're not gushy and mushy about children it makes you some sort of evil freak who should be shunned and ridiculed.  Particularly if you're a woman, you should be champing at the bit to have babies and should be all dewey-eyed and protective of all crotch fruit.  Like I said before, I've consciously decided that I don't want children at this point in my life, possibly never.  This doesn't make me some weirdo or evil person.  It doesn't mean that I've less of a woman or anything, or that I don't care about my country or society, just means that children aren't my way of doing it. I think there are too many children out there with bad parents already and I don't need to add to that.  I don't think I have the patience to be a parent.

I just want to know what other sacrifices we're going to offer upon the altar of the cult of child?  How much further are we going to indulge this child fetish that means that everything needs to be safe and happy.  I know others have said it, but how much are we really weakening our society by not letting nature take its course?  George Carlin has offered varied and numerous views on children and how Darwinism works.  I agree with him. 

So once again, do children really need to be the key audience, the main criterion that things are centered around?  I don't think so.  Trust me, a swear word will not scar a kid for life.  They're just words.  There are no "bad words" or bad language.  Words won't kill you, or make you bleed.  They might hurt your feelings and sensibilities, but it's not going to kill you.  The words themselves aren't bad, the intentions behind them are the only things that make them good or bad.

Food Is Not the Enemy

I'm sick to death of infomercials and people who think they've got the inside track on what's "healthy." 

I really am.  I'd like to know what stone tablets these hard and fast rules are on. Experts are constantly making discoveries about foods and reexploring old grounds when it comes to foods and eating properly.

But before we go to the issues surrounding food, let's go to an issue surrounding appearance; being thin and slender does not equate to being in good health.  The mantra of any person who's ever had a single psychology or statistics class knows that "correlation doesn't imply causation."  Just because someone's thin doesn't mean they're the paragon of health and just because someone is fat or heavy doesn't mean that they aren't.  I'm sure we all know someone who eats complete crap, wouldn't know broccoli if it jumped up and beat them around the head, but still manages to be rail-thin.  I can guarantee that most of the time, if they were to have a physical done, their doctor would tell them they're in atrocious health.  There's a lot more involved with health than just what you look like or what you weigh.  You can't see cholesterol.  You can't see glucose levels.  There may be someone who's fat, like me, but may be in better health than some of those people who reflect more of what is considered to be "healthy."  You may not know that I work out by looking at me.  You may not know that I actually am in great health by looking at me.

There have been recent studies that have actually found that being overweight actually is NO MORE  a liability to your health than being thin and in some cases is actually more protective against fatality. This study explains it in more depth. This article makes it a little more clear and accessible. It shows that it it's just not really a factor in determining mortality.  Age is more of a factor.

But that's just to open the doors to realizing that weight and body shape do not determine health. Neither does diet, at least not alone.  There are many factors that determine health: genetics, diseases that are unrelated to weight, digestive issues and intolerances, hell, even allergies.  Diet plays a huge roll in almost every different type of life style.  People have different diets for all sorts of different conditions: People with Celiac disease can't eat products with gluten, people with IBS should stay away from foods that contain yeast, etc. etc.

Food shouldn't be vilified.  All that does is make it harder for people to eat foods that may not be healthy according to the "gurus" with their fad diets that come and go and can fuck up a person worse than what they do on their own.  And that's all most of these fad diets do, they either reduce portion size, or cut out certain things and make it "evil"...things people can either do on their own, or things that don't really address the problem of educating people how to eat well for their own life styles or needs, and doesn't really address the cost of "healthy eating."

For some people, eating and food are addictions.  Unlike damn near every other substance that one can be addicted to, you can't live without food.  You can't avoid contact with it, and you can't change your habits by changing your friends and getting out of those situations that make you want to indulge.  Food is a fucking necessity.  Which is why making eating bad, and making foods bad and vilifying the act of eating and the foods that damn near everyone enjoys doesn't work.  You can't avoid food.  We aren't the Jetsons, food doesn't come in pill form. 

I know I'm sort of talking in circles but it's because this issue enrages me.  It pisses me off that entire categories of food are written off because "holier-than-thou, I know the answers to it all, bow before me" food nazis say they're not good.  Education is better than just writing something off.  Let people make informed decisions.  I don't care how well you eat most of the time, everyone has their crap food they love and just want to indulge in every now and then.

Some eastern religions talk about moderation being the key to life.  It's true.  Most people (read: MOST) people, when given the tools, the knowledge, and the choice, will eat what's healthy for them without being prodded and instructed to do so.  Food is not inherently "healthy" or "unhealthy."  The associations people put on them are what give them the perception they are.  There are certain circumstances where having a Twinkie is a very healthy option. 

Let's look at long-distance runners shall we? I think we can all agree this subset of people tends to be very healthy.  Let me tell you something about them: they don't exist on carrots and lettuce.  Many of them eat foods that would make health nazis cry.  They need foods high in proteins, fats, and calories to support the insane amount of physical activity that is involved with long-distance running.  Donuts are a perfect example of a food that is considered "unhealthy" but is needed for these people to perform their healthy activity. 

Now, this has gotten long enough, but I hope it's opened some moth-eaten pocket in everyone's mind and encourages them to use some common sense, not judge based on societal pressure rather than scientific fact and mitigating circumstances.  I really hope you've learned that food isn't the enemy.  Food is just food.  It's there to be enjoyed and eaten regardless of by whom.

When You Use Text-Speak, Something Cute and Fluffy Dies...Violently

This is probably one of my biggest pet peeves ever.  People who use text abbreviations in areas where there is no character limit make me want to punch babies.

For example, when posting on Facebook.  There's not really a character limit, so type out the bloody word.  Please.  Or when writing an email, there's definitely not a character limit there. Or in the for really-real world, you know, when actually using your voice box to make sounds that are carried across the air and enter into someone else's ear canal, and makes vibrations.  I know some people are unfamiliar with this concept in the modern world of electronic communication, but this is known as talking.  If you're too much of a lazy hump to say actual words when speaking, then please do me a favor and don't procreate.  That would require much more effort I would think.  It takes more effort to use the text-speak and then explain it than to just use the actual words.  After all, the average person speaks at the rate of about six words per second.  That's pretty damn fast.  It doesn't take anymore time to just speak properly.

Using text-speak outside of a text message (where character space is limited if your carrier won't let you send multi-page texts to someone not with that same carrier) just tells me you think I'm a gullible retard who doesn't understand the King's English. It also tells me that that free education you were entitled to until you turned 18 was wasted.  Yeah public education isn't as great as it could be, but I went to public schools in several states, and I have absolutely zero problems with using actual English to communicate with someone else.

You using text-speak when speaking to me in particular tells me that you think I'm a retard who's incapable of higher thought and isn't even of the same caliber of non-sense euphemisms that we speak to children.  In all reality, it makes me want to deduct about ten or twenty of your IQ points.

It's kinda sad that this is becoming more mainstream.  Like we as a society need to have things dumbed down and overcomplicated at the same time so we don't feel like squares or something.  A pox on that I say!

Psst!! I don't know if you knew this, but every time you use text-speak (as part of your normal communication, not for limited space or to make a point), something cute and fluffy gets tossed in a wood chipper.  Ever seen Fargo? It's something like that.

So if you won't do it for me, for yourselves, do it for the fluffy animals. Their lives are hard enough, what with having to live up to the cute and fluffy expectations without the fear of wood chippers.

To Porn or Not To Porn-Need This Be A Question?

Can anyone explain to me why porn still has such a stigma attached to it?

The entire industry still has this stigma like it's something dirty and disgusting.  Now, while there may be certain fetishes and acts that may not be to your tastes, and may go against your hygienic preferences, but let's leave that aside.  Let's talk straight up fucking.  Gay, straight, orgies, whatever.  Just straight up fucking.

There are a lot of people who look down on porn just because it depicts in stunning detail, what many people still only do in the dark.  I don't get it.  Are we trying to step backwards and put sex back into some locked room?  Are we reverting back to Victorian-era ideals where women would lie back and think of England? 

Porn is nothing more than fantasy.  That's all it is.  Visual fantasy.  Nothing more, nothing less.  It's just a form of stimulation that can be enjoyed solo and for masturbation (and not even that, sometimes it's just the stimulation that someone wants), or *gasp* by couples who are adding in visual stimulation to their physical stimulation and pleasure. 

If I were in a relationship, I'd rather have my partner spanking his monkey every day to porn whenever I'm not there or simply don't have the same drive than for him to be repressed or to go out and cheat on me because he isn't getting what he needs.  Simple fact.  I don't feel threatened by porn.  If you do, I think you have to work on your self-esteem or examine what it is that your partner is getting from it that they're not getting from you. 

But going back to the stigma of being associated with porn, I still don't get why.  We have porn stars that are household names, idolized and adored, even role models for people (not children, just people).  Porn stars have reality TV shows, books, etc. Hell, some have been in major motion pictures.  And vice versa: major motion picture stars have been in Playboy, some of them more than once.  They've posed nude, they've posed in compromising positions by themselves or with others.  So what's the problem?  If people can transition from one arena to the other and no one really cares, what's with the stigma?

Hell, one of Hugh Hefner's former girlfriends (and I believe she was or is a porn star) is on Dancing with The Stars.  No real issues there.  But one of the professionals?  She posed for Playboy and there was immediate backlash about whether she should continue to be employed by the show because she's not presenting a wholesome image; in essence, children shouldn't be looking up to her because she was in Playboy. 

Also, who is porn hurting?  Really?  Don't tell me about guys who hurt women because they saw it in porn.  That's bullshit.  There was more going on with those guys than they just watched a lot of porn and waxed their carrots.  And don't tell me porn subjugates women and demeans them.  Do you know who's in control of most of porn?  It's not the director...it's the female actress.  She gets paid anywhere from 3 to 10 times as much as her male counterpart and if she's uncomfortable with something, that's the end of it.  It doesn't happen. 

Porn is just another medium of imagination and sexual expression.  I think that if more people were open about their sexuality and their sexual natures, things might be a bit easier for us all.  It's one of the last areas where you can be judged based on your "proclivities." 

You're not really allowed to judge people because of what they wear, what they believe in, what their politics are, etc. (I mean, we do, but it's not usually acceptable), but if you mention someone has a high sex drive, particularly if that person is a woman, and if they indulge that drive?  Time to bust out the torches and pitchforks and drive the raging harlot from society.

If You Mention Their Name, They Will Message You

Ever have someone like that?  Someone that's driving you absolutely psycho-batshit-insane, and you have to be nice to them?  Or at least polite? Yeah, me too.

There are times when I scream whenever I get a message.  Times I die to turn off all forms of communication and live like a hermit for a while, and then I remember that I need to be reachable to my family at the very least.

I dream of going out and murdering people with a wooden cooking spoon.

I honestly don't know what to do with some of those people.  Don't want to fight, because as bitter and abrasive as I may seem, I'm actually not very confrontational. Why else would I start a blog that very few people would see? haha.

Just makes me a little stabby, little depressed, little stressed out.  I've got enough shit on my plate, do I really need to take on yours too?

Sorry, just feeling frustrated. Been a long couple of months.

I'll work on bringing back the funny in the next post.

P.S.  I've been challenged to create a scene from "Nightmare on Elm Street" and "Halloween" using peeps.  I believe I instigated the challenger to create a contest for horror scenes using peeps and it is awesome.  I hope to actually do something decent with them. 

Trekking for Jesus- Stay Out of the Fucking Road!

Today is Good Friday.  Now I dunno about the rest of the country/world, but this marks the start of something here in New Mexico:  The trek to either Chimayo or Tome Hill.  This trek (I believe) is supposed to simulate Christ's trek to the hill of Golgotha where he was crucified.

That's all well and good.  If you wanna go trekking for Jesus, good on ya.  I don't really care.

I have one request, and this applies every day, but local events make it more prominent today.

STAY OUT OF THE FUCKING ROAD!!! 

There are shoulders, fuck, even sidewalks for you to walk on.  That's kinda what they're there for.  The roads, the bit with the lines and the fucking cars, that's not for you, that's for the vehicles that go above a crawl.  There are laws for pedestrians just as there are laws for vehicles.  Ignorance is no excuse. 

I don't care what your purpose is for being in the road, but if you're there and you get nailed, it's you damn fault for not following the rules of the road.  Jesus wasn't impervious, hence why the nails went in, and he wasn't immune from the laws of his time either.  Walking in commemoration of his walk doesn't make you impervious to a motherfucking car, and it doesn't give you immunity to the laws that govern the rest of us. 

There's a reason Jesus road to Nazareth on a donkey; they didn't have cars and therefore couldn't go faster than maybe 12 miles an hour.  Nowadays, we go much much faster, and in the contest of person versus steel/fiberglass/aluminum/fucking rickshaw, person will lose. 

You're not entitled to impede traffic because you people don't know how to walk 2 abreast or single file.  You don't have to walk in a gaggle.  You're not goddamned geese.  Stay out of the bloody road.  Fair warning, I will hit you and I'll tally up my points based on who and what I hit. 

In general, this applies to people in the university area too.  You aren't allowed to just burst out onto the road to cross the street without looking.  There are crosswalks for a reason, and they're generally the safest place to cross the road. Just crossing the road is illegal.  It's called jaywalking, and you can be cited for it.  It also means that if you get into an accident involving a car, you're at fault because you're crossing the road illegally.  Sorry to break it to ya, but it's true.

Bicyclists? Folk who ride scooters? Don't think I've forgotten about you. 

Let's break it down shall we?  If you're not on skateboards or shoes with wheels on them, then you're considered a vehicle and you MUST follow the MANDATORY traffic laws. Such things like signaling, lane changing, waiting your motherfucking turn at lights; that shit?  Yeah, you've gotta follow it too.  I can't tell you how many accidents have been caused because of a bicyclist in particular who didn't follow traffic laws and just decided to go ahead and cross the road anyway, or not look to see if a car is turning and just went across the road and hit the car or were hit. 

It sickens me.  I'm sorry that you might have been hurt, but you were driving ignorantly and without concern for those around you.  As I've mentioned in a previous post, you hold lives in your hands and you shouldn't just be blithely running around with no concern or care.  You are a jackass of epic proportions if you do. 

Just do me a favor and have a care, be aware of your surroundings and look at those around you, check what others are doing.  And stay out of the fucking road if you're on foot.  You see a blue Honda Civic coming your way, check to be sure you're in the area of safety that was created just for you for such occasions. 

RuPaul...Modern Socrates?

I watch RuPaul's Drag Race on LogoTV. I love it. As I watch it though, I've considered that RuPaul may be a modern philosopher.

She talks about things that I think most people need to take into consideration in their lives. "If you don't love yourself, how the hell're you gonna love somebody else?" This could be considered RuPaul's catch phrase.

There's a lot that one can get from that simple statement.  If you don't love yourself, then why are you out looking for someone else to love?  You need to work on yourself first.  You need to love yourself, no matter what you look like.  And isn't it ironic that so much of the love we hold for ourselves is wrapped up in our outward appearance?  Very few people love themselves just for being themselves, their looks notwithstanding because looks change.  All the time in fact.  There are some people who are perfectly gorgeous, and thought to be so by almost everyone, and still don't love themselves. Maybe because they feel that people only love them for their looks.

People should love themselves just because they are who they are.  No matter who you are, you'll affect someone else's life, and you'll change someone else's life for the better.  There are people on this planet who wouldn't be the same if you weren't in their lives.  Love yourself because someone else does.

Now onto the second part of that sentiment above; how the hell're you gonna love somebody else?  It's true.  If you can't love the one person you're going to be with for the rest of your life (yourself), how can you really, truly love someone else?  I'd be afraid that I was looking for validation from that person all the time.  That it wouldn't be okay to love myself unless someone else loved me, and since I couldn't love myself, I'd only love them.  It doesn't make for a healthy outlook or way to live life.  It seems really one-sided.  I'd feel like I would resent myself because I would feel like I was constantly in the spotlight for not being perfect, worthy of love.  Everyone is worthy of love.  Everyone deserves it.  But you've gotta understand what love feels like, in order to give it to someone else too.

Everyone has something they don't love about themselves, but no one's perfect.  Everyone has a flaw.  If all you fixate on is the flaw, you won't be able to see past it to the whole person.  Sometimes, people shine so brightly that when you look at the whole picture, the flaw is lost in the splendor.  Adele Givens the comedienne said "Flaws aren't shit but unique identifying marks.  If you're bucktoothed, relax.  Chill out Bucky, baby.  You're gonna be alright.  Cause I bet there's a man out there who doesn't want anything less than a woman who can bite an apple through a picket fence. If you got a big belly, rub that motherfucker.  Love it."

RuPaul also has another quip that gets overlooked, but speaks a home truth:  Don't fuck it up.

Don't fuck it up.  Simple, to the point, direct.  It's true.  No matter what your philosophy on the "afterlife" or religious preference, this statement rings.  If you think that what you do here on this world has some reflection on what happens to you when you die, then don't fuck it up.  It'll come back to bite you on the ass.  If you belief that this life isn't a test and that only what you do here matters, then don't fuck it up.  It'll impact the rest of your life.  Be as good to others as you can.  Be good to yourself.  Don't be full of spite and anger and resentment and jealousy.

Having those sorts of feelings and thoughts sours whatever you're doing, whatever good feelings you might have.  Doing that to yourself, or to others?  That's fucking it up big time.

So, everyone, find yourself a drag queen.  Be friends with them.  They've got a unique perspective on life and most of them will tell you straight (ba dum bish!! thank you thank you, pun intended :D ), even if you don't want to hear it. They're modern philosphers, and RuPaul is their leader.

That is all.  Have a lovely Sunday.

Simple Entertainments

I've recently come to the conclusion that people don't have enough simple pleasures in their lives.

When I say simple, I mean simple.  The other day I was just driving and being amused with a hair tie I had wrapped around my thumb like a ring.  I was just playing with it and twisting it around, and I found that I was more calm, relaxed and efficient as a driver. 

When I came home, I continued playing with the hair tie and I didn't get bored for another hour.

I think we may depend too much on technology for entertainment.  I remember being a kid and playing with my stuffed animals for HOURS on end.  Just making up stories. 

Now I have to admit that I'm a bit of a video game whore.  I've been playing a lot of video games lately.  Mostly survival-horror because that is my bag, but some fantasy RPGs too (a la Final Fantasy.)

I've been trying to read more too.  That's a nice simple pleasure that I want to enjoy more often, just laying on my bed, or on the couch, maybe with some music in the background.  Sometimes having the house completely quiet is just wonderful while I do this too, but the dogs like having something on in the background.  Just reading.  I remember reading a book recently (probably one of the best books I've ever read in my entire life The Wise Man's Fear by Patrick Rothfuss) and remarking on how nice the paper was.  It was such an obscure, minor detail but I couldn't stop marveling at the quality of the paper haha.  It made me happy that I wasn't so overloaded with other crap that I could notice that.

We need to slow down a little I think.   We always hear how we were happiest when we were children, so maybe we need to think like kids again.  Find something simple.  Go get a stick and pretend you're sword fighting some bad ass knight for a few minutes.  I can almost guarantee you'll get the giggles because you're letting out some of those pent up emotions and energies.  Put on some rocking music while you're cooking or brushing your teeth and just bump and grind around, feeling like you're either the prima ballerina or a chick in a music video.  It's fun, I promise.

I really think that everyone would be a lot happier if they took the opportunity to just be silly for at least a few minutes a day.  Everyone can find five minutes for yourselves to remember that you don't wanna grow up cause you're a Toys R Us kid. 

That's your assignment for the week.  Be silly, have fun.  I want to hear about what you've done in the comments :)  Happy trails

What's this? A ve-hic-le?

I know that I, like damn near every other driver, have pet peeves.

No. Screw that. I have psychotic fucking hatreds. Yeah, that's more honest.

I've honestly considered looking into being a cop solely so I can drive around and write tickets all day long.  I don't wanna make detective, I don't want a desk, I wanna drive around and pull people over and write tickets all day.

People drive me nuts when they drive.  Many of them because they're speeding in a ridiculous way and that just grinds my gears (pun intended.)  Five, even ten miles over the speed limit, I can deal with that.  When you start reaching 15 to 20 and above over the speed limit, not only is that dangerous, that tells me you're either a speed freak who needs to get involved with NASCAR, or you're an asshat who doesn't know how to budget time.  If you're that late, get up earlier, leave earlier, stop fucking around before you leave the house, and you'll have more time to get where you need to be.

The main other type of driver that pisses me off is the driver who darts in and out of traffic like they think they're a stunt driver on Fast and The Furious 48.  These people just piss me off because they're really going to end up hurting someone.  They cut around each other with scant inches to spare and I've seen several people get clipped or have to slam on their brakes to avoid an accident because some inconsiderate prick felt the need for speed.  Seriously, they drive around like tadpoles on meth.

So simple, to-the-point message folks: When you get behind the wheel of any vehicle, you hold lives in your hands, not just your own.  You can end someone's life in an instant if you don't realize that you're not playing with a toy, and that the world doesn't revolve around you, and not everyone's lane is your lane too.

On a side note, did you know that swearing while driving actually lowers your blood pressure and can help keep you calm?  So talk to your fellow drivers, don't scream at them and flash the finger (or if you must, keep your windows up and your hands below the dash.)

In light of yesterday's colossal jackassery...

If you're here looking for funny today, you can fuck right off.  This isn't going to be a knee-slapper of a funny post.  I've got a point to make.

Now yesterday, our nation was on tenterhooks, waiting on the government to pass a budget.  The government however, was having a disagreement over some of the spending.  Was it over defense budgeting and how it's grown to gargantuan amounts of money to fight losing battles and get our noses involved in bullshit that we declared over and done with (e.g. the middle east and "spreading democracy," the "war" that was declared over in 2005 and is in all reality an occupation)? Nope.  Is it about how we've cut education spending and as a result, children in public schools and college students who are trying to better themselves with assistance from the government in the form of grants are getting screwed because education isn't getting as much spending?  Children are being helped along by teachers so that they can get them out of the school system instead of being taught things that they should know and that can enrich their fertile young minds.  College students are taking out loans they can't afford or dropping out of college altogether.  Is this what caused the stalemate?  Nope.

Was it even about how the politicians have voted to give themselves numerous pay raises in addition to stipends for travel, food, lodging on their supposedly business related travel (and in many cases, they end up receiving as complimentary anyway) and then their numerous tax cuts as many of them are in business or are independently wealthy, but they say that retirees and active military shouldn't get pay or benefit increases to reflect the rising cost of living?  Nope, wasn't that either.  God forbid that particular nugget should ever come to light.

So pray tell, what was the all-important issue that almost crippled this country and sent it back to 1932?  Why, of all the fucked up, agenda pushing issues that it could have been, it was the issue of providing funding to women's health facilities that provide abortions, most specifically: Planned Parenthood.

Really? You ask this.  I can hear you through my monitor.  Apparently so according to the information, I reply.

Because extremist right wingers have a moral objection to abortion, they wished to cut all funding for the women's health facilities that provide them.  Or, in compromise, they wanted to not fund them directly, but give the money to the states and let them fund those facilities.  That was rejected out of hand because that doesn't help the issue.  These facilities need this funding because they are one of the only options available to low-income women, and because their purpose is to provide options, assistance, information, and education to everyone about their sexual and reproductive health.  Women and men.  Cancer screenings, STD testing, contraceptives of all forms, information, education, as well as regular OB-GYN services for women who have no health insurance and so can't go to a regular clinic for their reproductive health and yearly pelvic screenings.  Abortions are only a small portion of what they provide and even so, what the fuck does that matter?  It's already been mandated that federal funds can't be used to fund abortions directly except in very, very limited cases.

How does defunding the leading provider of contraceptives to the poor and working class reduce the number of abortions? Or the future need for those services?  It doesn't, it reduces the choices that are open to people when it comes to reproduction.  It's simply an attack on women and women's choices by people who are still bitter about women gaining the right to vote and wish to send women back to Victorian times.  This mindset is by people who believe women shouldn't strive to be more than wives and mothers, or rather broodmares who birth a child every year till they die of the physical trauma of it all.

But let's look at this from a purely fiscal, financial standpoint for right now.  We'll get to the horseshit of "morality" influencing law in a minute.  An abortion provided by Planned Parenthood can cost from $350-$1250 depending on the method and the stage of pregnancy.  This includes testing, medications, the procedure itself and office visits.  While this is a large amount of money for people to come up with, it's not all due at once and it's nothing compared to what it would cost to actually give birth to a child.  The prenatal visits and the birth alone of a child in a hospital setting or with a midwife can cost thousands, even tens of thousands if there are complications and hospital admission is required.  That's just from conception to birth.  Now look at all post-natal care, food, clothing, immunizations, toys, day care, education (from K-12, not pre-K), after school programs, computers, etc., etc., etc. Oh and just for the record, most of that is on the American taxpayer, and at least here in New Mexico, teen mothers, children and I believe single mothers get state-subsidized health insurance.  Is it any wonder that so many women have children they can't afford because they get welfare, food stamps, home assistance and low income housing and health insurance?

Again, most of that's on the American taxpayer.  Now think about the personal financial implications of having a child.  Kids are expensive.  Not having a child that you're not able to provide for is financially more responsible than having it.  Even if you have it and give it up, it can go into a foster home, adoption agencies have to work to place it, etc. It's still costing money.

But now let's look into abortion for what it is.  It's simply ending a pregnancy. It's not destroying a life, it's not murder. It's ending a pregnancy, and most states have laws about the latest in the pregnancy you can receive an abortion.  There are two types of abortion: medication abortion and procedural abortion.  Medication abortion is typically the best way to go in early pregnancy when it's no more than just a cluster of cells, no worst than a cyst or tumor.  Medication abortion is when a woman receives a pill similar to RU-486, and it causes the body to purge the abortion.  It's like having a really nasty period.  Procedural abortion happens if the medication abortion doesn't completely terminate the pregnancy or if it's further along, and it's a little more invasive, a little more like having surgery.  But it is guaranteed to end the pregnancy.  I'm not going to get into the details for those who are squeamish, but I do suggest you research it.  Ignorance and misinformation lead to misunderstanding and hatred.

That's all.  It's not some sicko cackling over his prey.  It's just a procedure to end a pregnancy.  Not all women are meant to be mothers, not all women are built for it.  Not all women want to be mothers.  And regardless of if you raise the child or not, you are a mother once you give birth. 

Me? I don't want kids.  I don't know if I'll want them in the future, but right now, I don't want them.  And I have no shame in that.  I take precautions: I'm on the pill, I've had my lovers use condoms, I even only have one ovary, although that's for a different reason (I had a 25 pound tumor sitting on my left ovary that went undiagnosed for years until it put me in the ER with excruciating pain and they did a CT scan on me.)
I've been on birth control ever since my very first sexual experience.  Planned Parenthood provides birth control, condoms, IUDs, everything someone would need to be in charge of their reproductive health.
 
Abortion is a single person's choice:  the woman's.  She holds the ultimate decision.  No one else has any right to tell her what to do.  I had a tumor removed; if the government had told me that I couldn't have the tumor removed because it might grow up to be cancer one day, do you think there would have been public outcry led by me? You're damn right there would have been, and rightly so.

One particular groups set of moral standards shouldn't be able to dictate laws (which are tools of logic) or finances.  By essentially criminalizing abortions (which is what'll happen if they cut funding to facilities that provide abortions), they leave women with no choice but to either bring more children into the world to burden us financially and population wise, or to resort to real back-alley abortions involving coat hangers.  Doing that sort of thing is starting to turn this country into countries that we're trying to "civilize" and give their women rights.  The middle east for example.  Abortion is almost wholly illegal there, and women have very few options or education about their health and reproduction.  Now...defunding Planned Parenthood would do practically the same thing here wouldn't it?  Shocking idea to think about since we're fighting to give them rights that we're trying to take away from our own women because of some outdated, archaic moral standard.    One almost entirely held by rich white men and women who've either never had to struggle to make those decisions, never had children, or have had too many bloody children.

Regarding: Relationships

Relationships.  There are so many different types of relationships we have with one another, it's hard to make a comprehensive list.

Let's just bring it down to the main two shall we?  Friendships and relationships where sex is involved, these are what most people typically think of when we say "relationships."

Friendships are complicated.  There're a lot of dynamics to a friendship: loyalty, comfort, the ability to smack some sense into each other, love, obligation, generosity, being there for each other, etc.   These are many of the same dynamics involved in the other type of relationship but without the dynamics of sex, living together, etc.

We choose our friends.  Some of us wish we had a bit more of a "catch and release" program with friends.  Have 'em for a bit, and if it doesn't work out, we let them back into the river to float the fuck away from us.  Unfortunately, that sort of mentality doesn't apply so well to people.  If only people were fish.

Friendships should be even.  One person shouldn't have more power in the friendship than the other.  They should each enjoy the other.  They should be based on that enjoyment and not on some sort of co-dependent need for drama, or competition, oneupmanship or something of those lines.  You shouldn't have friends that you feel are inferior to you just so you can feel better.  That's just straight up bullshit.  How does that benefit the other person?  It doesn't.  I've had friendships like that. They didn't make me feel good, and they made me feel worse about myself.  Those sorts of things can cause depression.

Relationships the same, except you have the added benefit/deficit of being someone's sex monkey.  The physicality of a relationship blurs some lines.  Some lines that shouldn't be blurred to be frank.

No matter what the relationship, it's important to remember that you are individuals, and as such should be treated with some basic human decency and courtesy.  And if that relationship isn't working for you, for whatever reason, then it might be time to reconsider whether that relationship should be a part of your life.  If you feel like you've gotten everything you can from it, and you don't feel like there's anything more to gain from it, even if it hurts, even if it's hard, you should end it.

Dragging relationships out can hurt more than ending them quickly.  Like ripping off a band-aid.

Sorry for not much funny today, couldn't think of something funny when I'm trying to genuinely help.


*As a side note, I'm going to be implementing the new feature "Ask Kim."  You can ask me any kind of question you like, about any topic, ask for advice or anything, and I will answer here in the blog.  You can remain anonymous if you life, but if you do, come up with a cool pen name for the end, or I'll do it for you. :)   Please send any and all questions, blog topic suggestions, etc. to singinmommahen@gmail.com.

Until next lesson, muhalo.

About Roommates

Ah, the joy of being out of one's parents' house.  You can do what you want, come and go as you please, even *gasp* have sex without having to strategize like a Navy SEAL. 

But wait, you can't afford the rent all on your own? You can afford the rent, but it means you have less money for luxuries like toilet paper and ramen and sweet, sweet methadone? I guess that means you have to take on a roommate, or several.

Here's the thing: when you have roommates, you need to learn to be considerate of them, and they of you.  Seems simple right?  Au contrair mon ami, you'd be astounded at how this simple concept seems to just slide right by people. 

First, don't assign a rota for chores.  It doesn't work, and the person who gets stuck with any particular chore on any particular day is going to resent the fact that everyone piled up the dishes or forgot to take out the trash the day before and now it's left to them.  Resentment leads to bitching-out and passive-aggressive cattiness. Bitching and moaning leads to fighting and name calling.  I don't imagine anyone being called a "self-centered, slovenly pig of a human being" is going to be in the mood for showtunes and Jenga.

So, be considerate of those living around you and clean up after yourself.  It need not be right away, but don't leave shit sitting around for more than a couple hours because then you'll forget and really piss off the roomies.

Next, be aware of each others' sleeping habits.  Me, I'm an early bird; I'm up between 0630 and 0730 naturally, no assistance needed.  And once I'm up, I'm up for the day, no coffee, no caffeine, any of that needed.  Now I seem to be in the minority when it comes to my friends.  They're night-owls and thus, not exactly early risers.  So be aware of those habits with your roommates.  If you're the first one up, be relatively quiet.  Let them sleep.  And vice versa; if you're up late, be relatively quiet for the early bird.  Neither of you wants be woken from your awesome dream that you're skiing on ice cream and then boning on a marshmallow unless there's food or sex involved in the for really real world.

Come up with a system if you need privacy to bring over other folk.  Asking does wonders. 

Ask if others would like some of what you're cooking, it's just polite.  Don't get pissed off if they take you up on your offer.  They might just bake an apple pie from scratch later on, and might get pissy if you help yourself to a slice after you got mad at them.

Be sure to have clear boundaries.  It's hell coming home and finding that your gimp mask and "Best of Bread" cd aren't where your left them because your roomie needed a chuckle.

There are other issues, but if you follow the rant so far, I think you get the jist.  After all, if you're reading this, you must be at least marginally intelligent, and you think I'm wicked funny.  *waves fingers around* You think...that I...Kim...am wickedly funny. 

*snaps fingers*  Welcome back, you zonked out on me there. 

Until next time.

Concerning Jobs

As a person who's been seeking a job in this dismal market, I have a message for potential employers:

When making a listing on say, Craigslist, don't be a pussy and make the post really vague.  Say exactly what it is you expect people to do.  Don't make me waste my time sending you the email with my resume and then not hearing anything back on what the job actually is.  You don't want people wasting your time if they're unqualified or whatever, well don't waste my time by not telling me what the job is so I can have a more intelligent response to your ad.

On that note, when you do have someone who interviews, or responds to your listing (wherever it may be), be considerate enough to at least respond with "sorry, not interested" or "we found someone better suited to our needs."  Especially, doubly especially when you tell someone "we'll call you either way."  Then they wait around on a response and end up feeling crap about themselves because they weren't even good enough for a call to say no.

When that sort of thing happens it makes me want to punch babies.  That would severely suck for any babies that I'm around.  Because once you start punching babies, how do you stop?

So, to conclude: vagueness and lack of follow through make you a jackass.  Stop it now.

Welcome

Welcome to your first lesson.

The first rule of this class: don't fuck it up.  You want to not be a stupid jackass?  Be aware that in the past you have, in fact, been a stupid jackass whether intentionally or not.  Start being aware that you have the potential to either brighten or completely fuck up someone else's day, let alone your own.

The second rule of this class: Think of me as a helpful hunchback on the crown of your head.  I'm not an angel and I'm not a devil either.  I'm just a regular gal trying to help other because it's hard to see what's going on in your life as you're living it. 

I'm a master of analogy and I like to use them; a fuckload.  I think they're mightily helpful explaining things, and they're fun.  Especially when I get to use "colorful" terms such as "fuckrag," and "monkeyfucker."

This is just a blog for me to have some fun, rant a little, and just have a little creative outlet.  They seem to be popular these days :)

Class dismissed, hope to see you back next time.