05 April 2011

Regarding: Relationships

Relationships.  There are so many different types of relationships we have with one another, it's hard to make a comprehensive list.

Let's just bring it down to the main two shall we?  Friendships and relationships where sex is involved, these are what most people typically think of when we say "relationships."

Friendships are complicated.  There're a lot of dynamics to a friendship: loyalty, comfort, the ability to smack some sense into each other, love, obligation, generosity, being there for each other, etc.   These are many of the same dynamics involved in the other type of relationship but without the dynamics of sex, living together, etc.

We choose our friends.  Some of us wish we had a bit more of a "catch and release" program with friends.  Have 'em for a bit, and if it doesn't work out, we let them back into the river to float the fuck away from us.  Unfortunately, that sort of mentality doesn't apply so well to people.  If only people were fish.

Friendships should be even.  One person shouldn't have more power in the friendship than the other.  They should each enjoy the other.  They should be based on that enjoyment and not on some sort of co-dependent need for drama, or competition, oneupmanship or something of those lines.  You shouldn't have friends that you feel are inferior to you just so you can feel better.  That's just straight up bullshit.  How does that benefit the other person?  It doesn't.  I've had friendships like that. They didn't make me feel good, and they made me feel worse about myself.  Those sorts of things can cause depression.

Relationships the same, except you have the added benefit/deficit of being someone's sex monkey.  The physicality of a relationship blurs some lines.  Some lines that shouldn't be blurred to be frank.

No matter what the relationship, it's important to remember that you are individuals, and as such should be treated with some basic human decency and courtesy.  And if that relationship isn't working for you, for whatever reason, then it might be time to reconsider whether that relationship should be a part of your life.  If you feel like you've gotten everything you can from it, and you don't feel like there's anything more to gain from it, even if it hurts, even if it's hard, you should end it.

Dragging relationships out can hurt more than ending them quickly.  Like ripping off a band-aid.

Sorry for not much funny today, couldn't think of something funny when I'm trying to genuinely help.

*As a side note, I'm going to be implementing the new feature "Ask Kim."  You can ask me any kind of question you like, about any topic, ask for advice or anything, and I will answer here in the blog.  You can remain anonymous if you life, but if you do, come up with a cool pen name for the end, or I'll do it for you. :)   Please send any and all questions, blog topic suggestions, etc. to singinmommahen@gmail.com.

Until next lesson, muhalo.

No comments:

Post a Comment