10 April 2011

What's this? A ve-hic-le?

I know that I, like damn near every other driver, have pet peeves.

No. Screw that. I have psychotic fucking hatreds. Yeah, that's more honest.

I've honestly considered looking into being a cop solely so I can drive around and write tickets all day long.  I don't wanna make detective, I don't want a desk, I wanna drive around and pull people over and write tickets all day.

People drive me nuts when they drive.  Many of them because they're speeding in a ridiculous way and that just grinds my gears (pun intended.)  Five, even ten miles over the speed limit, I can deal with that.  When you start reaching 15 to 20 and above over the speed limit, not only is that dangerous, that tells me you're either a speed freak who needs to get involved with NASCAR, or you're an asshat who doesn't know how to budget time.  If you're that late, get up earlier, leave earlier, stop fucking around before you leave the house, and you'll have more time to get where you need to be.

The main other type of driver that pisses me off is the driver who darts in and out of traffic like they think they're a stunt driver on Fast and The Furious 48.  These people just piss me off because they're really going to end up hurting someone.  They cut around each other with scant inches to spare and I've seen several people get clipped or have to slam on their brakes to avoid an accident because some inconsiderate prick felt the need for speed.  Seriously, they drive around like tadpoles on meth.

So simple, to-the-point message folks: When you get behind the wheel of any vehicle, you hold lives in your hands, not just your own.  You can end someone's life in an instant if you don't realize that you're not playing with a toy, and that the world doesn't revolve around you, and not everyone's lane is your lane too.

On a side note, did you know that swearing while driving actually lowers your blood pressure and can help keep you calm?  So talk to your fellow drivers, don't scream at them and flash the finger (or if you must, keep your windows up and your hands below the dash.)


  1. I speed, you know that. I try to make sure I don't go over 10 miles over, but sometimes I do.

    There are so many things other drivers do that pisses me off, I could write a novel.

  2. I don't mind speeding so much if people are doing it responsibly...still gets on my nerves a bit, but yeah lol.

    Other drivers just suck because they don't drive the way I do.