About Roommates

Ah, the joy of being out of one's parents' house.  You can do what you want, come and go as you please, even *gasp* have sex without having to strategize like a Navy SEAL. 

But wait, you can't afford the rent all on your own? You can afford the rent, but it means you have less money for luxuries like toilet paper and ramen and sweet, sweet methadone? I guess that means you have to take on a roommate, or several.

Here's the thing: when you have roommates, you need to learn to be considerate of them, and they of you.  Seems simple right?  Au contrair mon ami, you'd be astounded at how this simple concept seems to just slide right by people. 

First, don't assign a rota for chores.  It doesn't work, and the person who gets stuck with any particular chore on any particular day is going to resent the fact that everyone piled up the dishes or forgot to take out the trash the day before and now it's left to them.  Resentment leads to bitching-out and passive-aggressive cattiness. Bitching and moaning leads to fighting and name calling.  I don't imagine anyone being called a "self-centered, slovenly pig of a human being" is going to be in the mood for showtunes and Jenga.

So, be considerate of those living around you and clean up after yourself.  It need not be right away, but don't leave shit sitting around for more than a couple hours because then you'll forget and really piss off the roomies.

Next, be aware of each others' sleeping habits.  Me, I'm an early bird; I'm up between 0630 and 0730 naturally, no assistance needed.  And once I'm up, I'm up for the day, no coffee, no caffeine, any of that needed.  Now I seem to be in the minority when it comes to my friends.  They're night-owls and thus, not exactly early risers.  So be aware of those habits with your roommates.  If you're the first one up, be relatively quiet.  Let them sleep.  And vice versa; if you're up late, be relatively quiet for the early bird.  Neither of you wants be woken from your awesome dream that you're skiing on ice cream and then boning on a marshmallow unless there's food or sex involved in the for really real world.

Come up with a system if you need privacy to bring over other folk.  Asking does wonders. 

Ask if others would like some of what you're cooking, it's just polite.  Don't get pissed off if they take you up on your offer.  They might just bake an apple pie from scratch later on, and might get pissy if you help yourself to a slice after you got mad at them.

Be sure to have clear boundaries.  It's hell coming home and finding that your gimp mask and "Best of Bread" cd aren't where your left them because your roomie needed a chuckle.

There are other issues, but if you follow the rant so far, I think you get the jist.  After all, if you're reading this, you must be at least marginally intelligent, and you think I'm wicked funny.  *waves fingers around* You think...that I...Kim...am wickedly funny. 

*snaps fingers*  Welcome back, you zonked out on me there. 

Until next time.